Saturday, November 4, 2023

Feelings & Puzzle Pieces Redux

I feel sad tonight. I’ve let down someone I love, and I’m not sure how I can fix the situation going forward, because it is going to happen again - I sleep a lot on my days off; it’s my time of rest after a long week. Unfortunately this has led to someone important to me feeling neglected.

I have hope that we will patch things up in the morning, but for now, I’m having all kinds of feelings - sad, guilt, anxious, upset that I’ve upset someone I love. I know that realistically, I am only human, and I am doing my best with the capacity I currently possess. But that doesn’t make me feel any less guilty and sad for having hurt this person. 

I’m not used to causing distress to people. I try very hard to be a caring person at all times, and offer as much compassion as I can.

I used to be a very broken person. I don’t know how I did it, but I don’t feel as broken anymore. I feel more whole now than I ever have before. Like I’m only missing a corner piece or two of my puzzle or a few less important inner pieces. Enough that you can get a pretty good picture of me without too much issue, but it would still be nice to get those missing pieces put in place. 

Some people are important pieces, whether we know it or not before they enter our lives. Once they’re there, though, it’s hard to deny how well they fit, and how much better the overall picture is with them in place, because yes, you can look at and appreciate an unfinished puzzle, but the more pieces there are in place, the more magical the experience of unlocking the full image. 

Once you’ve seen the full image, the puzzle as a whole, it makes you want to glue the pieces down and keep them in place permanently. Unfortunately in person puzzles, the pieces are memories, people, and experiences, and can’t be glued down. Nothing is permanent. However, we may find new pieces to fit the blank spaces left behind. 

No comments:

Post a Comment