Sunday, August 26, 2018

Never In Your Wildest Dreams

I want to know what your wildest dreams for your life are. Do they involve being rich and famous someday? Going to a particular destination for a vacation? Moving somewhere you've never been?

When I was a kid, 8-10 years old, my big dream for myself was to be an inventor. I was absolutely convinced that I was going to create something that was going to change the way the world worked.

When I was 12-19, my big dream was to be a writer. Again, I was convinced I was going to create something that was going to change the world.

At 21, I had my first son. My big dreams shifted and changed, and now my big dream was to be the best mom I could be.

At 23, I had my second baby. My big dream became having a happy family with my kids and my fiance.

At 24, I married my kids' dad. My big dream was to maintain a happy family environment.

At 28, we split up. My big dream was to hold it together for the kids' sake.

At 31, I started writing again. The dream of being a writer wasn't a big one, but the ball was rolling.

At 34, I self-published my first book. The dream of someday becoming known in the world of fiction writing suddenly seemed more viable.

Over the next year and a half, I self-published 4 more books, for a total of 5. The idea of maybe being famous someday terrified me, but intrigued me at the same time. It wasn't really a dream, but a thought that kept nibbling at the back of my brain.

Right now, I am 38, and my life has changed dramatically in just the last 6 months. I have a few different wild dreams right now, but the only one I'm willing to admit publicly is that I think it'd be pretty fuckin' cool to be famous someday. To be sought after. To be admired. It's the least likely of my current dreams to come true, though.

C'est la vie. That's life.

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