Saturday, August 31, 2019

Becoming Indigo

To someone on the outside looking in, it looks like I am just taking steps now towards becoming Indigo. I've been using the name for nearly 3 months, in all aspects of my life, except where my legal name is required. August 29th, I got to hear Indigo in a legal setting for the first time, as I took the first steps towards my legal name change. I'm doing things to alter my appearance, some in drastic ways, some in ways only people close to me will notice. These are all steps to becoming the "final product", so to speak. There is no final product to speak of. I am forever a work in progress.

And that right there brings me to the point. I am not just now becoming Indigo. This is a part of me that I didn't see in the mirror because it was hiding for 39 years. Around my birthday this year, this part of me that I could always feel hiding poked its head up for the first time when I looked in a mirror, and it winked at me. It took me a little while to recognize exactly what it was, but once I did, things fell into place nicely.

Someone asked me the other day if I chose Indigo for the colour or for indigo children. I smiled and said, "It's for an Indigo state of mind." It's the best way I can explain it. That part of me is just so very... Indigo. I am who I have always been, since I was very small. I'm just bigger and louder about it now.

I've always been Indigo. I just didn't know it.