Get me a drink I get drunk off one sip
Just so I can adore you
I want the entire street out of town
Just so I can be alone with you
Now go when your ready my heads
Getting heavy pressed against your arm
I adore you
(Adore - Amy Shark)
She flicked the overhead light off and sat down on the edge of the bed. The little LED lights she had tied to her headboard cast a soft glow over his body. He watched her quietly, as she watched him in return. I adore this man so fucking much, she thought. I wonder if he really understands how much I love him? She picked up a water bottle off the nightstand and took a sip.
She laid down on the bed next to him, laid her head on his chest. She listened to his heart beating strongly in his chest. Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump. It sounded powerful and mighty, and its cadence soothed her soul. Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump. She held back tears as she listened to his breathing slow down and even out. How did I get so lucky to have this man in my life? She mulled the question over and over in her head until she finally fell asleep in his arms, exactly where she wanted to be.
Morning came fast, and she woke in his arms still. When she looked up at him, he smiled at her and tucked a small chunk of her hair behind her left ear, out of her face. She smiled back, and they exchanged a brief but electrifying kiss. They held each other’s gaze for a long moment after their lips separated, each unwilling to tear their gaze away.
She finally gave in and broke the silence first. “Morning.” Her voice was barely a whisper.
“Good morning, beautiful.” His voice sent shivers down her spine, and the words made her heart skip a beat.
She smiled back at him, just a small smile. She was afraid that if she smiled any bigger, she would start crying. She could feel the tears fighting to come to the surface behind her eyelids. He was going home in a few hours. That was never an easy time for her.
She knew that he could tell she was forcing herself to hold back tears. He just held her gaze while she waited for him to say something. “Do you want to get up?” he asked.
She chuckled a little and said, “No, not really, but we probably should.” She sighed and tried to roll away from him, but there was resistance as he hugged her close, preventing her from moving away.
“Just wait… We can put it off for ten more minutes.”
She smiled cheerfully at him as they walked through her house together. She really enjoyed having him here. Wherever he was, she felt safe, which meant her home felt extra safe when he was there. She prepared them each a cup of coffee and they settled in beside each other on the loveseat in the living room.
She listened raptly as he showed her a selection of his favourite songs, and the couple chatted together quietly while her teen children moved about their day around them. After lunch, they went upstairs to her room so she could smoke a joint and they could have some privacy.
She lit the joint, and they chatted while she smoked and he scrolled around on his phone. As she inhaled the last puff, she glanced at the clock. It was almost time for him to leave. Her heart was suddenly sitting firmly in her throat, exactly where it did not belong. She put the ashtray and lighter away and laid down on her stomach as gently as possible. She tried to swallow, and found it difficult over the lump in her throat.
After what felt like forever to her, he noticed that she had gotten quiet. He maneuvered his body so he could look at her eyes. They were glistening with tears that hadn’t yet fallen. “You okay?” he asked quietly.
She didn’t answer, just closed her eyes, releasing the tears. She felt him shifting his position, and then he swiped gently at her cheeks, wiping away the tear streaks. “I love you,” he said, his voice gentle and genuine.
More tears fell, and she sniffled. “I love you, too,” she whispered.
“Why are you crying?” he asked softly.
She was quiet for a while, turning her head to stare at the clock radio on the nightstand. She knew that if she looked at him right now, she would start bawling. Finally, she had composed herself just enough, so she looked back at him and sighed quietly. “I don’t want you to leave.”
The unspoken “Ever.” hung in the air between them. He kissed her, looked her in her eyes, and said, “I don’t want to leave.”
And again, that unspoken word hung between them.
It’s you, babe
And I’m a sucker for the way that you move, babe
And I could try to run, but it would be useless
You’re to blame
Just one hit of you, I knew I’ll never be the same
(Never Be The Same - Camila Cabello)